life cycle

I put away the Pesach plates. I wrapped the pots, closed the food processor box, folded the table cloth, sealed the carton. And that’s it. Another Pesach has gone. I sat on a chair before putting away the Pesach stuff and closed my eyes. In front of me the Pesach of last year. Its guests, its food, its smells, its end. And how I wondered, sitting in the same chair, how the next pesach would be. How would be my life after a whole year. I remember I whispered a prayer in my heart. Please G-d make the next Pesach be exactly like this year. Make that, when I open the boxes on the next spring season, I make it with a smile. Let me be nervous only about the big number of guests I need to cook for. And nothing else. I get up from the chair and I put the last piece of cellotape on the brown box. I tap the top of the carton and help to bring it to the garage where it will rest for the next eleven and half months. I open the door of my kitchen and remove the aluminium foil on the counters, the refrigerator, cupboards and walls. I let the last smell of Pesach freedom fly away in the air. Bringing in Heaven all my prayers and those of my beloved nation. Image

Please G-d…

Please G-d, give me the energy to smile to her mess.
To laugh when she scatters.
To pretend it’s a joke.
Please G-d, give me the strenght to be positive to her problems.
To think good when it’s dark,
To find out the right side in a wrong event.
Please G-d, make me a mother worthy of this name.
Worthy of waking her up in the morning letting the sun in the room.
Worthy of calling her name as the sweetest thing in the world.
Please G-d avoid listening to me when I am angry at her.
When I raise my voice trying to make her listen to my words.
When I loose my self control trying to get back the phone.
Please G-d, I know that I ask you for so many things.
For health, for healing from illnesses, for 120 years of good life.
For supporting us in an honorable way, letting us the opportunity to help others too.
For gratification from my children, whom I want to be the most righteus persons.
But I know that You are infinite and there is nothing beyond You.
And so I have a last request, that comes directly from my heart.
Make me enjoy this mad period as the best in the world.
Because I know for sure that in the precise second she will leave my home, I will understand how beautiful every detail, even the most insignificant, was.
Please G-d.
And thank you too.

20111103-235658.jpg

Divine providence everywhere…

You can see Divine providence in a drop of water falling on a leave.

In a butterfly coming to hide in your house during night.

In finding a genial doctor able to cure a hopless illness.

In finding a classmate on the same flight to New York after 25 years you have not seen her.

In wearing the same dress as the one worn by the woman sitting next to you in a party.

In having the chance to know wondreful people when your hope in humanity in slightly going down.

You can see Divine providence in finding in Italy, after three weeks of desperate research, a woman who is ready to sew your daughter’s wedding dress in the short time, in the extreme conditions, only Russian American dress makers were ready to do.

In meeting that woman in a fair where the only nice boot was hers. Where people going around seemed escaped from jail. Where they forced you to pay the ticket only because you could not print the subscription at home.

In speaking with that woman and finding out she has just lost her husband three weeks ago. Drying her tears while trying to keep yours deep in your eyes. Trying to comfort her for the saddest lost of her life and thinking that fate was really cruel with her. Making her mourn the love of her life between wedding gowns and bridal veils.

You can see Divine providence during a normal week day in which your major trouble is to find something your daughter can wear for her special day. A Divine providence that, on your way back home, just makes you smile among tears and ask from G-d: Please make that for the next 120 years all the troubles of my family and mine will be only about wedding gowns and chiffons, matching shoes and the right color ink for the invitations…