just two choices

my sweet little baby, seeing you coming out from this red curtain, dressed with this soft white fabric,inside this shop for brides, gives me two choices. the first one is just to close my eyes, lean on the chair where i am sitting and just start living my life again. here I am. Nursing you when you are 2 hours old, trying to feed you with healthy vegetables and getting smashed zucchini on my face. waking you up in the morning trying to be stronger than you and not going back to sleep with you. washing away the tears from your face when you fall down during your first biking. clapping my hands for your first piano concert after only two months of lessons. speaking with you on the phone trying to comfort you for being thousands of miles away from home in order to get a better education. kissing you when you baked your first chala during your school holiday. The second choice is just to open my eyes and start realizing that all this is true. that my little baby is grown up (not so much yet, but enough to find a soul mate) ready to fly away frm home towards a new nest leaving her mother with a constant thought: Did I give her all I wanted to? I have no anwer. but only a strong hope.