A new page in lifebook…

Today I changed the sheets of the beds. I looked for the most comfortable pillows. I opened the new bed covers I was keeping for a special occasion. I cleaned the floor, I finally moved from its unnatural place the picture of the children. In the old frame. It was standing in the corner of the room for more than three months. Waiting for a special guest to come. I removed all the papers from the desk, I cleaned the dust of two weeks on the printer. I moved the curtain, making it appear as a hotel piece. I sprayed roses parfum in the room. I switched off the light. I locked the door. And I breathed deeply. I am ready, spiritually and materially, to be a real mother in law. In my home. Suddenly I feel as I am my mother. The way she uses to welcome us in her home is always so unique, making you feel as somebody was really waiting for you. And as this somebody is really, really happy to see you. So, with G-d’s help, in a few hours I will open a new page in my life book. A page that speaks about grown up children and their new way of being part of the family, a page relating a story of history. And how it repeats itself. From generation to generation, from mother to daughter, from daughter to grandaughter. To son in law. Welcome to my life new old members of my family. I hope that though immersed in a new life, here, in your old room and with the new sheets, you will always feel home.

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just two choices

my sweet little baby, seeing you coming out from this red curtain, dressed with this soft white fabric,inside this shop for brides, gives me two choices. the first one is just to close my eyes, lean on the chair where i am sitting and just start living my life again. here I am. Nursing you when you are 2 hours old, trying to feed you with healthy vegetables and getting smashed zucchini on my face. waking you up in the morning trying to be stronger than you and not going back to sleep with you. washing away the tears from your face when you fall down during your first biking. clapping my hands for your first piano concert after only two months of lessons. speaking with you on the phone trying to comfort you for being thousands of miles away from home in order to get a better education. kissing you when you baked your first chala during your school holiday. The second choice is just to open my eyes and start realizing that all this is true. that my little baby is grown up (not so much yet, but enough to find a soul mate) ready to fly away frm home towards a new nest leaving her mother with a constant thought: Did I give her all I wanted to? I have no anwer. but only a strong hope.