A dream, a knapsack and a shouting baby

Who could imagine your taste for nice clothes, that made us spend so much during the last 19 years, would have been one day so apreciated by someone?

Who could imagine your love for good food, that sometimes forced you to make rush diets, would have once transformed you in the best cook ever?

Who could imagine your dream of being dressed in a fluffy gown, that made you draw so many dresses on your schoolbooks, would have become real one day?

Who could imagine your special brown eyes, that made you call ‘princess’ after 10 minutes you were in this world, would have become one day so laughing and so charming?

Who could imagine our freedom lover, who was dreaming to cross all the world with a knapsack on her back, would have one day loved to stay home waiting for a phone call?

Who could imagine a girl who loved to sleep and woke up for 19 years with an angry expression on her face, could one day wake up with a smile for the coming day?

Who could imagine that little girl cheating during the memory game, going under the glass table and looking at all the cards, would have one day become a woman as you are today?

Who could imagine we would have arrived to that day, during which we should  be preparing mentally to this, with G-d’s help, wonderful and happy life trip while still not able to believe our baby is already at this important step?

Who could imagine one day we will have to let our little shouting, always sleeping, smart, dreaming baby, become his beloved lady?

Divine providence everywhere…

You can see Divine providence in a drop of water falling on a leave.

In a butterfly coming to hide in your house during night.

In finding a genial doctor able to cure a hopless illness.

In finding a classmate on the same flight to New York after 25 years you have not seen her.

In wearing the same dress as the one worn by the woman sitting next to you in a party.

In having the chance to know wondreful people when your hope in humanity in slightly going down.

You can see Divine providence in finding in Italy, after three weeks of desperate research, a woman who is ready to sew your daughter’s wedding dress in the short time, in the extreme conditions, only Russian American dress makers were ready to do.

In meeting that woman in a fair where the only nice boot was hers. Where people going around seemed escaped from jail. Where they forced you to pay the ticket only because you could not print the subscription at home.

In speaking with that woman and finding out she has just lost her husband three weeks ago. Drying her tears while trying to keep yours deep in your eyes. Trying to comfort her for the saddest lost of her life and thinking that fate was really cruel with her. Making her mourn the love of her life between wedding gowns and bridal veils.

You can see Divine providence during a normal week day in which your major trouble is to find something your daughter can wear for her special day. A Divine providence that, on your way back home, just makes you smile among tears and ask from G-d: Please make that for the next 120 years all the troubles of my family and mine will be only about wedding gowns and chiffons, matching shoes and the right color ink for the invitations…

just two choices

my sweet little baby, seeing you coming out from this red curtain, dressed with this soft white fabric,inside this shop for brides, gives me two choices. the first one is just to close my eyes, lean on the chair where i am sitting and just start living my life again. here I am. Nursing you when you are 2 hours old, trying to feed you with healthy vegetables and getting smashed zucchini on my face. waking you up in the morning trying to be stronger than you and not going back to sleep with you. washing away the tears from your face when you fall down during your first biking. clapping my hands for your first piano concert after only two months of lessons. speaking with you on the phone trying to comfort you for being thousands of miles away from home in order to get a better education. kissing you when you baked your first chala during your school holiday. The second choice is just to open my eyes and start realizing that all this is true. that my little baby is grown up (not so much yet, but enough to find a soul mate) ready to fly away frm home towards a new nest leaving her mother with a constant thought: Did I give her all I wanted to? I have no anwer. but only a strong hope.