Se non ora quando…

I love being Jew

I love eating an apple when people sit in a restaurant beside the sea having the best smelling pizza of the world. I love shutting down my cellphone when the rest of the world is still fighting for currencies, shares, stocks and internet connections. I love wearing a long skirt while there, at the garden, women dress like men or a piece of cloth instead of a skirt. I love reading from right to left while the most part of the world sees all the letters only in the opposite direction. I love telling my children the stories about rabbis who lived 2000 years ago in the same exact way we are living today. I love waking up every morning washing my hands and thanking G-d for having given to me another chance. I love calling my children with names that to someone sound exotic, to another some strange and that for me taste as the flavor of strong traditions and heritance. I love passiinb beside a door and seeming a crazy person to those who are looking at me, kissing that pieve of plastic, silver of wood, that contains the main points of my faith. I love closing my eyes on the past day while closing my eyes with my right hand and saying good night to G-d once again. I love all this kind of restrictions, limits, obligations, duties. Because they give me real freedom. I am not slave of internet, of time or of money. I am not slave of fashion, of star system, of other gods except mine. I love being jew. Because this means being different, choosing a path that is hard, full of obstacles, but original. And makes you grow through small details, which everyone counts for you to be better tomorrow than today.

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Please G-d…

Please G-d, give me the energy to smile to her mess.
To laugh when she scatters.
To pretend it’s a joke.
Please G-d, give me the strenght to be positive to her problems.
To think good when it’s dark,
To find out the right side in a wrong event.
Please G-d, make me a mother worthy of this name.
Worthy of waking her up in the morning letting the sun in the room.
Worthy of calling her name as the sweetest thing in the world.
Please G-d avoid listening to me when I am angry at her.
When I raise my voice trying to make her listen to my words.
When I loose my self control trying to get back the phone.
Please G-d, I know that I ask you for so many things.
For health, for healing from illnesses, for 120 years of good life.
For supporting us in an honorable way, letting us the opportunity to help others too.
For gratification from my children, whom I want to be the most righteus persons.
But I know that You are infinite and there is nothing beyond You.
And so I have a last request, that comes directly from my heart.
Make me enjoy this mad period as the best in the world.
Because I know for sure that in the precise second she will leave my home, I will understand how beautiful every detail, even the most insignificant, was.
Please G-d.
And thank you too.

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Do not open that box! Risk of panic!

There are some times in which you are just afraid to reveal reality. The thing is there but you cannot handle it. And you leave it there for days, weeks, months. Like a ticket you think you shouldn’t pay. Like a telephone bill for the only month in which you swear you did not speak with anybody. So that box is there. Closed. I don’t dare opening it. Because reality would fly around my room. Filling my brain and the air I breath. Truth would hit me as sun during midday. And I would really become a mother of a bride. And a mother in law. Now it is written there, black on white. Ink on real paper. Tangible proof of an event is really happening. Evidence of a future day. Now it is lying there. Closed. The box with the invitations for the wedding. The ink is resting, maybe still digesting the news. No one can blame me. Because no one knows my secret. Except for you, of course…

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A friend is…

A person who is able to accept you as you are though you and her are totally the opposite (see R.)

A person who is able to walk with you in 15 shops in two hours looking for a dress for you, noticing at the end you absolutely don’t know what you like (see D.)

A person who is able to go down in her basement and look for tablecloths she used 7 years ago just to avoid seeing you totally desperate (see A.)

A person who comes to embrace you every time she sees you because, though you promised not to be nervous for the good things you are organizing, she knows you indeed are nervous.(see M.)

A person who is able to call you after months of silence to ask you how you are though she knows you are mad on her because she did not call you to say you mazal tov (see E.)

A person who by chance is a sister too and who runs around to look for things for your wedding and does not get angry if you answer to her bbm only ten hours later
(see A.)

A person who has a stomach ache for two days when your
child is sick. Because she is worried for your child as it was hers. (see me with R)

A person who likes you when you cry and when you laugh, when you scream and when you whisper. When you thank her and when you don’t. When you mention her in your blog and when you forget to do it. I promise that, though I am sure I forgot some of you, you still love me. And I love you too.

Don’t steal my life…

I want back my life, I want back my breaths,I want back my cries, I want back my smiles. I want back my days, i want back my nights. I want to be there, back in time, with the knowledge of today. Able to apreciate a baby’s cry, a diaper change, a loving little hand looking for yours during the night. Able to love children talks in the hours preceeding an university exam day. Able to tell between those important things G-d offers you everyday. And the very insignificant one He puts you during life in order to confise you a little bit. Able to live every single minute as the best present you could be ever offered. Able to to attach the ‘negative’ etiquette to things that really deserve it. And attach the’positive’ one to things that deserve it too. Maybe this is the reason why G-d made children grow up with parents: In order for their ears to be always full of words that remind them life ‘is like a flash’. At 12 p.m of a Tuesday morning 1992 you look at your baby in a hospital crib. And at 12 p.m of a Tuesday morning 2011 you look at your baby in a white wedding gown…

Welcome home Gilad Shalit

Welcome home son of everybody.

Son of mothers who did not sleep at night worrying for your life.

Son of fathers who trembled every day fearing for your destiny.

Brother of teenagers who prayed everyday for your health.

Friend of babies who named you after their Shma’ Israel.

Flame of candles lit up every Friday with hearts full of hope.

Star of the sky endlessly shining for 1935 nights.

Glue able to keep women and men of different traditions, colors and accents, united by a common dream.

Fish bought on the terrorism market at the price of 1000 sharks.

Living miracle with still the strenght to smile after all those nights away from your home.

Tear falling on faces who crieds even not knowing you.

Member of a big family, spread all around the world, whose Father is there, always ready to help.

Part of a nation which motto “who saves a single soul does save a whole world” is not only wrtitten on old books and abandoned papers.

Today it’s your day, dear Gilad Shalit.

And for 6 hours no phone call was made.

No invitations was written.

No veil was designed.

This is your day.

And even an incoming wedding with all its sorts of troubles and joys, which requires every instant of our busy lives, is able to stop for a while.

Because you, though you don’t know, are even my son. And your new life is precious for me as you were just newly born.

Thank you G-d.

Divine providence everywhere…

You can see Divine providence in a drop of water falling on a leave.

In a butterfly coming to hide in your house during night.

In finding a genial doctor able to cure a hopless illness.

In finding a classmate on the same flight to New York after 25 years you have not seen her.

In wearing the same dress as the one worn by the woman sitting next to you in a party.

In having the chance to know wondreful people when your hope in humanity in slightly going down.

You can see Divine providence in finding in Italy, after three weeks of desperate research, a woman who is ready to sew your daughter’s wedding dress in the short time, in the extreme conditions, only Russian American dress makers were ready to do.

In meeting that woman in a fair where the only nice boot was hers. Where people going around seemed escaped from jail. Where they forced you to pay the ticket only because you could not print the subscription at home.

In speaking with that woman and finding out she has just lost her husband three weeks ago. Drying her tears while trying to keep yours deep in your eyes. Trying to comfort her for the saddest lost of her life and thinking that fate was really cruel with her. Making her mourn the love of her life between wedding gowns and bridal veils.

You can see Divine providence during a normal week day in which your major trouble is to find something your daughter can wear for her special day. A Divine providence that, on your way back home, just makes you smile among tears and ask from G-d: Please make that for the next 120 years all the troubles of my family and mine will be only about wedding gowns and chiffons, matching shoes and the right color ink for the invitations…

That was easy…

wireless BlackBerry

From: gheula.canarutto@sdabocconi.it
Date: Tue, 11 Oct
To:Anna
Subject: that was easy

Dear Anna,
I just wanted to thank you. Yesterday, when I met you in the pizza store, I did not think it would be so useful. I mean, I really liked it. But I thought it was only for fun. I didn’t think it could have magic powers. But it does. I was parking yesterday. In a very narrow place. After 5 minutes of sweating and swearing I will go around Milan only riding buses, I could do it. I parked my car. In the same instant in which I turned the key and I prepared to get down from the car a voice came from my bag: that was easy. I burst into the biggest laugh of the last month making people who were walking on the sidewalk think I just came out from a bar maybe having too much wine. Today I called an important person which can really help me with a project of mine. She was so kind with me, so ready to help me, I was really surprised. It was months I wanted to call her. It took two minutes to realize that it was not so hard. Or, as your present shouted in the room, after I invited it to express its opinion: That was easy. No, believe me, everything is but easy. Dressing nine people for a wedding, thinking about what they will wear during all the parties (sheva brachot) after the wedding, organizing singer, players, flowers, invitations (in three languages), guests, hotel rooms, car rentals, food (this I need to remember should be prepared every day, not only for the wedding…), managing daily children problems, giving them attention, finding time for a special hug is NOT easy. But, Anna, you are right. When I reach a goal I push on your special box. And the voice that exclaims loud: that was easy, reminds me, that after all, people get married every day and no child appeared in underwear in his sister’s wedding, no bride arrived to the her special day wearing a jeans skirt, no guest found tables without tableclothes in the wedding hall. Thank you Anna for being there and remind me all of this.

P.s Anna gave me as a present a special red toy that, whenever you push it, it shouts: That was easy! I recomend it to everyone:)

Always be precise…

In front of the Cohanim, hearing the voices of those who ask G-d to blesa us, I can only ask that G-d protects always, in every moment and place, my children. May he grant them health,respect of G-d and love for His torah, success, happiness and good life mates. and so, repeating this prayer for infinite years and times, I could only hope that it will become true.  These are my feelings, when hearing that same ancient melody of the cohanim, the same softness of your hair, the same smell. As 19 years ago. Like a bird left to fly away becuase you know that there, in the sky, it will feel good and free, I have to rejoice sending you away. thinking of you in New York or Israel.  I need to smile thinking of you on the next year in this date, with G-d’s help, opening a prayer book in a different synagouge than ours. eating a soup with a different taste. you will be there. and I will be here. thanking G-d for having listened to my prayers and telling myself that sometimes, when you pray, you have to be more precise in your requests. so the next year I will add. Please G-d gite my children wonderful life mates. living at a maximum distance of a block away from my home…Thank you