Mummy, hold strong…

‘Mummyyyyyy’, she started shouting in the middle of the night.
‘No, I don’t want this’ she went on after a few months.
‘Mummy, now we are fine. The baby is in the stroller, I hold on the right side, my brother holds on the left. There is no room for other kids’ she added on a cloudy day.
‘Mummy, can you put us the Rebbe’ s video becuase he is our soul?’ she asked when no other videos were offered home.
‘Mummy, can I go to sleep over by a friend?’ and there started her freedom declaration.
‘Mummy, it was really fun to be there overnight’ she threw there with her jacket coming back home. And since then nothing was the same.
‘Bye mum, See you in 4 months with G-d’s help’ Her ticket was in her bag, the passport in her hand and a part of my heart was in her suitcase. She was just 14 and her flight for Israel was waiting for her.
‘Mummy, I want to come homeeeeeeee!!!!! I don’t like anything here, nor friends nor the school. Why can’t I come back?’ becuase my baby lady, this is for your. For your future, for your growing and becoming a good person. And I really meant it. But I was suffering more than her.
‘Mummy, thank you for sending me here. You cannot imagine how I am happy, how I love being here’ and I was happy too, but I knew that that moment was the beginning of the end. Of years in which she needed so much, in which she just wanted to be embraced.
‘Mummy, hold strong. I have amazing news for you. I am….’

Just one moment. You are learning to say mum, you are empowering through the first denials, you don’t want any new brothers, you would like to see a video of the Rebbe, you learnt the fun of sleeping over by a friend, you are missing home, you are enjoying your stay away from home or…

No, don’t tell me. Did these 19 years pass already so fast?
Yes, mum. They are. And For me too. And now it’s time for me to let you know these wonderful news. I want to get married very very soon…

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